Rounding the ‘net: Conservatives v. Liberals

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.

If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.

If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.

A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.

If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a Black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.

Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.

A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.

Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.

A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.

A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.

If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he’s in labor and then sues.


Sums it up for me!


  1. Someone recently sent me a fantastic quote:

    “Remember, the government cannot give anything to anyone that they have not first taken away from someone else.”

  2. Karin Wii B. Sharin says:

    Yeah Libby! They sure took away the White Mans ability to vote, ride in the front of the bus and access to a quality education when they gave them Blacks all those rights a few years back.

    Damn all those liberal folk who fight for fair(ly) equal rights!

  3. I think I see your point, KwbS, but I’m not sure Libby’s statement was meant to apply to rights. I was thinking more about entitlement programs. Money out of my pocket to someone else’s via the government’s planning.

  4. Randy in Richmond says:

    Actually Karin, the ‘someone else’ in all of your examples were the blacks who lived in America before the changes were made and did not have the rights you refer to but now do have. It’s the same for women’s right to vote. We didn’t remove men’s ability to vote to grant that right to women. Libby’s quote is still true.

  5. Geesus …. let’s just enjoy the joke and the laugh.. and stop trying to moralize it. Lighten up everyone.

  6. Thank you, Wilson828. My thoughts – exactly.

    Oops…hit send before I could write that this is Libby 🙂

  7. Don’t take the lawrd’s name in vein, Wilson.

  8. Hmm. I might have missed it, but I can see how it would be satire.

    Good grief it’s tough to know for sure.

  9. It’s like saying, if a person doesn’t want to get vaccinated for an illness, he just doesn’t get one if he’s a conservative.

    A liberal will try to get vaccinations for everyone so they all won’t get sick. (The conservative can still not get one.)

    Some people just aren’t up on their vaccinations. Why leave those people in the dark that may want the opportunity?

    Sure, conservatives are for the individual, but then we all end up individually sick if those who want to get everybody on board can’t.

    Let’s hear it for the “successful, independent” conservative while the liberal is berated for wanting everybody to be, to some basic degree, taken care of.

    Oh, I guess we’re all successful and independent…

  10. The list is hardly a joke, CK. It’s a series of straw men, misrepresentations and outright lies.

    Nobody wants to shut down talk shows. Sure, there were some nutcases who tried to get a comedian barred a few years back but that’s not quite the same.

    I’ve not seen a measure to ban all guns proposed anywhere. That’s just a paranoid fantasy used to keep the foolish buying NRA cards.

    If a conservative doesn’t watch her kid and the poor thing gets burned on a fireplace grate she runs for the lawyers and sues the hotel she was negligent at.

    Liberals don’t care if you want to natter on about whatever deity you believe in. Just don’t be doing it with public money. It’s the conservatives who’ve been crying for the past ten days that we should deport the Muslims and purge them from the military.

    Not accurate, not funny. It’s one of the lesser email fwds going around.

  11. I knew it! Jessica McBride is a flaming liberal.

    It was a joke, grumps. You just took it personally.

  12. Randy in Richmond says:

    If the so called ‘Fairness Doctrine’ were to be re-enacted many talk show hosts would in fact lose stations and perhaps their shows. It’s not a direct “you can’t say that” but an indirect move that economically would force stations to either shut down or change their formats because history has strongly shown that not enough people want to listen to liberal hosts for three hours or at all. And here is an example from 2007 of three liberals who espouse that very viewpoint:

    “According to two members of the House Democrat Caucus, Reps. Nancy Pelosi and Steny Hoyer have informed them that they will “aggressively pursue” reinstatement of the so-called Fairness Doctrine over the next six months. In January, Democrat presidential candidate Rep. Dennis Kucinich announced that he was going to pursue the Fairness Doctrine through his Government Reform subcommittee. That announcement was greeted with silence. But now, Pelosi has moved things to the front burner. ”

    And this:

    As for the gun statement I do know some liberals who did outlaw ownersip of guns–right up the road from me in Washington D.C. From Wiki:
    “The D.C. law banned residents from owning handguns, automatic firearms, and high-capacity semi-automatic firearms, as well as prohibited possession of unregistered firearms. Exceptions to the ban were allowed for police officers and guns registered before 1976. The law also required firearms kept in the home to be “unloaded, disassembled, or bound by a trigger lock or similar device”, thus amounting to a prohibition on the use of firearms for self-defense in the home.”
    Never mind that the Supreme Court just overturned this 25 year old law as unconstitutional–the liberals tried.

    I agree that there is no way to measure the lawsuit accusation.

    And please provide an example from a conservative in the last ten days wanting to “deport muslims and purge them from the military”. I couldn’t find an example of that.

    Even though a joke the email is pretty much true on most counts.

  13. Randy –

    “It’s not a direct “you can’t say that” but an indirect move that economically would force stations to either shut down or change their formats”

    Like you can keep your health care insurance if you like it only we will make the rules so that your employer will find it cost prohibitive to offer it to you? All these supposedly great ideas, how come so much deception?

  14. Randy, Rep. Michele Bachmann said Pres. Obama wants to put us in concentration camps. Does that mean it’s true?

  15. Randy in Richmond says:

    She did not say “wants” but “could”. And my answer to the ‘could’ question is yes.