Rename the TSA

Let’s play a game! What do you think the acronym TSA could stand for instead of Transportation Security Administration? All of my ideas so far this morning have an A word that I don’t want to type here, so I’m stumped.

Yes, I’ve found something new to go off on these days. I’m taking personal aim at inconsistent and ineffective TSA practices in airport screening. Here’s another example of power gone wrong from Red State.

This is probably another good time to remind you all that all of us were carrying actual assault rifles, and some of us were also carrying pistols.

So we’re in line, going through one at a time. One of our Soldiers had his Gerber multi-tool. TSA confiscated it. Kind of ridiculous, but it gets better. A few minutes later, a guy empties his pockets and has a pair of nail clippers. Nail clippers. TSA informs the Soldier that they’re going to confiscate his nail clippers. The conversation went something like this:

TSA Guy: You can’t take those on the plane.

Soldier: What? I’ve had them since we left country.

TSA Guy: You’re not suppose to have them.

Soldier: Why?

TSA Guy: They can be used as a weapon.

A couple of years ago I snagged a nail at ORD waiting on a flight for Germany with Dad. You could have knocked me over with a feather when he handed me a set of nail clippers. “How do you still have these?” I asked.

“I put them in my carry on?” he said.

(I just shook my head. I was every so glad to have something for the dangling fingernail, though. It seems I’m always ripping one off at an airport. Last week it was wrestling with a stuck door in the ladies room at DCA.)

It’s just this kind of inconsistency that means the Administration is remarkably ineffective at what they do, but they are allowed to do it badly with flourish. Kind of like a drag queen strip tease, don’t you think?

Still can’t think of a better A word. Darn it.


  1. Randy in Richmond says:

    Touching Someone’s Assets

  2. LOL!

  3. My girlfriend called with “technically sexual assault.”

    It’s true. In any other situation having a stranger handle you like that would be cause for prosecution.

  4. TSA – Totally Sexin’ Always